Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Yantrixa 13: Sagarmatha

It was a rainy night in July. Ramzu and I were in our third year and we were sitting on the concrete wall of the Woodlands hostel. News had reached our ears that a Woodland's alumnus had left a box of Cuba's finest, Partagas Grand Corona cigars. Neither of us had the faintest idea how to smoke a cigar, but we figured what the fuck... you have start somewhere. After some asking around, we found our old friend Mr. Sunday, the general secretary of the hostel holding on to some of the famous cigars and he was kind enough to share some with us...

The hostel must have had a pondy night in the mess hall, because just above the dulcet sounds of porn music, we could hear a woman getting brains fucked out... And then we heard a great commotion. We went to see what was happening out of pure curiousity.

Some enterprising senior, had lined up all the freshmen and asked them to masturbate to the porn on screen. So some ten odd freshies were standing there furiously massaging their dicks. Most were having a hard time getting it up, but in the middle was "the tallest motherfucking tamilian in the world" (as Ramzu delicately referred to him)... and he seemed to be doing fine.

More than fine actually, we watched in amazement as he came and wonder of wonders his jizz flew a full five feet in air and landed on the screen of the TV... just as the scene changed to reveal a woman with her mouth open...

The cheer that went out from the mess hall could be heard on other planets as well. A legend was born that day... and we knew we had a story that we could tell someday tell our grandchildren. I recall looking at Ramzu and holding both palms facing skyward with my eyes pointing in the direction of heaven...

The "Tallest Motherfucking Tamilian in the World" turned out actually had a name, Sriraman Vijayan but from that day on he was known simply as Pondi - a name he would wear as a badge of honour.

After the entire hostel was done parading him on their shoulders, Ramzu, I and Mr. Sunday asked him if he wanted to come have a drink with us... and over the remainder of the night and the last of the Grand Coronas, I got to know him. That is how he came to work beside me in MI in December that year.

He was mildly put a straight shooter and rarely missed his mark.

I knew I would not be able to do this any other way... so I drove straight to the headquarters of the Anamika Corporation... a massive building known simply as Sagarmatha.

Walking up to guards at the gate, I pulled out my rarely used ID card, and said I wanted to see Sriraman. The black Ashokan Tri-Lion symbol enclosed in a black laurel wreath has a unique ability to open closed doors - after all... Dharmo Rakshati Rakshitaha. In a few minutes I was ushered into Sriraman's office and to my lack of surprise, Ramzu was there too.

I stared at Sriraman and Ramzu and simply said...

"Can someone tell me what the hell is going on?"

Sriraman spoke with a very sharp tone, "You have to understand there was no choice, we had to do this, people were dying...."

Ramzu looked away...

I repeated my question...

"Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on?"

Then Ramzu chimed in -- in a very neutral tone - "You are going to get more than you bargained for..."

Despite my rising frustration, I repeated the query...

" Can you please tell me what the hell is going on here?".

And so they finally told me...


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